Tag Archives: Feelings

Honouring Fridays: May 8th, 2009

This week contained an incredible amount of change for Nepal, with the resignation of the Prime Minister, amidst some of the most complicated accusations and juicy political scandal imaginable.  Videos circulating of lies the previous PM told the UN, unconstitutional moves by various individuals that have been called `illegal`, and a `constitutional coup`.  And while the rumour mills and gossip chains are on fire with chatter, the rest of life rolls along, as it must.  The regular folks (and that includes me) got up and went to work, drank their tea, made dinner, and tried with all their might to hope that stability and peace would succeed.

  • Packages. R`s mom sent us a lovely package that arrived early this week.  The anticipation of opening them, the secret treats that are hidden inside, the carefully wrapped and addressed box…packages are a treat (cards and letters are just as wonderful!) that we dearly look forward to.  It is true that we can get just about anything we need here, but there is still something lovely about knowing that someone somewhere thought enough about you to drop something in the mail.
  • uTorrent. The source for my regular fix of bad yet totally addictive TV.  Until now, our power situation was too dire to even consider downloading anything remotely large.  But lately, we have been the recipients of magical power that stays on for…gasp…DAYS…at a time!!!  Which has meant some quality utorrent downloading. I am slowly finding my way back to the centre of pop culture.
  • Courage. I am currently wading through some rather intense and unfortunate group politics in my work that has had me questioning not only myself, but the worth, value, and possibility that the work we do can actually change education for children.  I was reminded yesterday that there are so many Nepalis who have been fighting this same fight for their entire lives – demanding that Dalit members of their society have the same rights, opportunities, and access to quality of life that caste based discrimination has prevented them from having.  While I struggle to keep faith in humanity, my Dalit colleagues can look at this and see it simply, as one more challenge to be overcome. My emotions still get the better of me, my hope and faith slowly drains, and I know that my courage is only a sliver compared to the courageous folks who live with this every single day of their lives.  I am grateful that they feel the courage to keep on fighting the good fight.
  • Tuna. We have once again discovered the joys of canned tuna.  I know, not much of a discovery, but I had somehow forgotten how delicious a tuna sandwich, rich with mayonnaise and studded with sour little pickle bites could be.  How much it reminded me of home.  Part of this discovery was also the holy grail of a good tuna sandwich…good bread.  A local hotel makes fresh french bread – toasted and smothered with tuna and cheese brought us right back to home.  Mitho thiyo!  (It was tasty!).

Pashupatinath

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This week our class visited the holy site of Pashupatinath, which is situated along the Bagmati river on the Eastern edge of the city.  This holy site is an incredibly important place for many Hindu Nepalis as it is here that many families come to conduct the cremation ceremonies for family members who have died.

Before arriving I had been preparing myself for what we might encounter – I just wasn’t sure what kind of emotions might present and how the visual images would impact.  I have always had a very active imagination.  At the risk of sounding childish I will admit that I am still overcome by nightmares of such a vivid and horrific nature that I sometimes wonder whether observing raw and real human suffering is simply a catalyst for such terrors.

But I soon realized, upon arriving, that my worries were unfounded.  While the vision of heaps of straw, wood, and smoke surrounding the body, was startling at first, it was also incredibly peaceful and spiritual.  It felt very natural and although filled with an urgent sense of grief it looked very much like those families we saw were spiritually letting go -letting the river carry away their sorrow and grief.

There was a family undertaking the rituals of preparing the body before cremation and I watched from atop a hill as the family grieved and laid garlands of marigolds over the body, the golden colour reflective of the god Vishnu, the Protector.

The grey river, clogged with debris, and exceptionally polluted, still worked tirelessly to sweep away the ashes and provide the holy water which would secure the deceased a space in heaven.  Caught in the current were some golden orange strands of fabric that clung to a muddy stick and fanned the current along.

I watched this family closely and was reminded that although their grief was still fresh they were following a centuries old tradition that would protect and honour their family member in the after-life and that they too would one day be washed down the river towards a holier and more pure existence.  The actions were public, but the emotions were purely private and held solace for the grieving families.

Morning…bihanna

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The fog sinks deep and thick over wooded hills.  The terraced rice fields, brown and scrubby after harvest, steam from the weak sunlight that manages to pierce the fog.  Damp clothes swing from clotheslines dripping the dampness from their stitches.  I too swing dampness from my limbs.  And yet, the anticipation of the heat and warmth beyond the fog brings everything from their warm beds.  There is rice to be sown, corn to be dried, and dust to be swept.  There is not a morning without the hallam (noise) of magpies and crows awake in the fog.  By lunch, the fog has been swept clean behind the hills.  But for now the fog rests heavily and I am hidden within it.

Bandh

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Today is my first bandh. A bandh is a strike, by a organized group of workers, ethnic minorities or a union, to remind the political wheels of their desires and needs.  It can involve large demonstrations, many road closures, which shuts and entire city down.  Not unlike a strike in Canada in fact, except that it is announced about a week ahead to notify the citizens.  We were scheduled to have class in the VSO office today but the bandha road closures have prevented staff from getting to work, so we have the day off!

This weekend I have been asked to attend a 2-day workshop entitled “Quest for Quality Education” which is organized by a number of local NGO’s.  This will be my first opportunity to meet the partners who form the coalition, the Global Campaign for Education, Nepal, for whom I work.  Nerves, anticipation, anxiety, and excitment abound – will I have the right skills?  Will I be of use?  Can I do this work?  Nothing I can answer yet, but hoping this workshop will put my mind to rest a little bit.